Tonight
Alone Rainy August Hungry Empty Cold
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Time was, a
drink would have helped
Or a swing
around the dance floor
No-name
cowboy holding me tight
In his arms
as he made plans for later.
God, I tried
that solution more than once.
Hell
couldn’t hold how bad I felt.
Tonight I’ll
sit here on the beach.
Alone isn’t
the worst thing in the world.
Liking who I
am alone with
Opens some
doors; closes others.
Nothing is
the same tomorrow,
Even the
moonlight in your eyes.
Red sky
broods over the water.
Artists
would say it doesn’t look real.
Incoming tide will wash shadows away
Not caring
if my heart is lying on the sand.
You never
looked to see if I am real.
And the
tears I cry are the same salt
Until the
pull of the sea
Gets into my
soul
Undermining
my hold on
Sanity which
was
Tenuous to
begin with.
Healing will
come, I’m told, meantime
Uncomfortable
is a skin I wear.
Night winds
sing the blues low and mean
Groping my
body leaving me
Ragged torn
wounded walking
Yet another
mile with regret my crutch.
Evening
empties out the daydreams
Making space
for night voices and neon,
Party-time
in the warehouse of my mind
Turning
dreams into nightmares,
Night-mares into noon,
Yellow sun
punching out another day.
Clouds are
my comforter, covering
Over my
nakedness, hiding my fears that
Love is
perennial as the grass
And will sprout and grow and
Die again
while I sit on the beach.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
