Tonight Alone Rainy August Hungry Empty Cold

       Tonight Alone Rainy August Hungry Empty Cold

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Time was, a drink would have helped

Or a swing around the dance floor

No-name cowboy holding me tight

In his arms as he made plans for later.

God, I tried that solution more than once.

Hell couldn’t hold how bad I felt.

Tonight I’ll sit here on the beach.

Alone isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Liking who I am alone with

Opens some doors; closes others.

Nothing is the same tomorrow,

Even the moonlight in your eyes.

Red sky broods over the water.

Artists would say it doesn’t look real.

 Incoming tide will wash shadows away

Not caring if my heart is lying on the sand.

You never looked to see if I am real.

And the tears I cry are the same salt

Until the pull of the sea

Gets into my soul

Undermining my hold on

Sanity which was

Tenuous to begin with.

Healing will come, I’m told, meantime

Uncomfortable is a skin I wear.

Night winds sing the blues low and mean

Groping my body leaving me

Ragged torn wounded walking

Yet another mile with regret my crutch.

Evening empties out the daydreams

Making space for night voices and neon,

Party-time in the warehouse of my mind

Turning dreams into nightmares,

            Night-mares into noon,

Yellow sun punching out another day.

Clouds are my comforter, covering

Over my nakedness, hiding my fears that

Love is perennial as the grass

            And will sprout and grow and

Die again while I sit on the beach.

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