“If not now, when?”—Hillel

Tonight I cannot sleep,

Ready to move on.

Some say consequences imply mistakes;

A mistake may camouflage a gift.

I’ve learned to gather information

Before jumping off a cliff,

Wind velocity, depth of fall,

That sort of thing. I may jump

But I’ll jump informed. If at each

Turning point I had to make a feasibility study

I’d still be on the farm. I’d feel

Sad to have missed the life

I’ve lived. When I go home

I am a stranger. In my photo album

Each picture is filled with shadows.

Every place is dear to me

And though I didn’t choose

To stay, I lived that place.

I’ve nothing to fall back on.

I believe life loves me

To give me such a gift.

If I had a “fall back” fund,

I’d never move.